Building a lasting relationship with your readers

When we talk about the dos and the don’ts of building your blogging empire, it’s natural to focus on topics like using social media to distribute your content or improving SEO. We talk often about expanding your audience and improving user experience.

However, during February, the month of romance and love, let’s look at more than the technical details of your blog and the demographics of your target market. Those are such chilly subjects for a cold winter day, aren’t they?

Let’s look, instead, at ways to build authentic, lasting relationships with your readers. After all, they’re more than numbers and statistics; they’re lovable human beings who are actively reaching out to you for companionship.

Rather than imagining them as a faceless crowd, imagine your readers as soul mates, and then take some tips from relationship pros on how to keep them happy. Fortunately, there’s not even a top ten list. In fact, being a good partner in a relationship boils down to three simple acts.

Be generous

Psychologist John Gottman set up “The Love Lab” in 1986 to learn the cause of the growing numbers of divorces as well as gleaning the secrets of lasting relationships. Over the course of several years, he discovered that relationships lasted longer when partners were generous with one another.

I’m not talking about buying gifts here (although tokens of affection are always appreciated). By generosity, Gottman meant that relationship geniuses had mastered the art of paying attention to their soul mates – even on bad days.

• Do you give readers your full attention?
• Do you respond to their comments?
• Do you create content that you know that they’ll love and use?
• Do you occasionally provide a little something extra to let them know they’re cherished?

Be open

Authenticity and vulnerability make a person inherently more charming. In another study of relationships conducted by psychologists Arthur and Elaine Aron, individuals were paired with strangers and given a series of 36 personal questions to ask and answer.

For example:

• Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

• Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

• Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

The psychologists found that the increasing intimacy of the questions broke down barriers between strangers quickly, leaving them feeling a much closer connection to their partners. Building a meaningful relationship with your readers involves opening up and letting your guard down.

• Do you speak to your readers as if you were already in a relationship with them?
• Do you share some of the funny, human moments from your daily life?
• Do you let your guard down and allow yourself to share the mistakes that make you relatable?
• Do you ask them to share their own stories?

Be there

We don’t need a psychologist to tell us that actually showing up is critical to relationship success. After all, relationships require interactions, and you can’t have interactions with someone who’s never around or whose comings and goings are unpredictable and unreliable.

If your readers already enjoy your company, they’re going to want to spend time with you, so it’s important that you consistently make time for them. If you say that you’re going to blog every week, blog every week. If you know that you can’t put that much time in, set that expectation from the beginning so that no one is disappointed.

While the idea of posting weekly or even daily is daunting when you’re also balancing other things like, say, a life, you can make it easier by establishing a blog schedule and writing in blocks ahead of time rather than attempting to dash out posts on the fly.

• Do you publish on a regular basis?
• Do you provide options to make accessing new posts easier?
• Do you show up on social media to chat with readers throughout the week?
• Do you check comments regularly?

This month, take some time to woo your readers like the romantic that you really are. Let them know that you’re in it for the long haul.

How do you let your readers know that they’re loved?